January 13, 2008

Dear Family and Friends,
It seems unreal that it was five months ago today (Aug 13,2007) that Marty had his first surgery in Logan and his cancer was finally diagnosed. Time has gone so fast in many ways, yet stood still in others. When I think of all the choices he has had to make and all that he has endured, it seems unbelievable. It is heartbreaking to look back in time when we both KNEW something was seriously wrong and told doctors we suspected cancer long before the diagnosis was officially made that day. It is impossible to fight cancer until an official diagnosis is made and then you know which beast you are fighting. Stage 4 is a bad time to start the fight!!
We continue to be grateful for the innovative and aggressive treatments now available for this type of cancer and will never forget Dr. Sharma's comment that THIS is the type of cancer people die from----not knowing what they had. It is usually diagnosed on autopsy. WOW ! The many symptoms that he had endured and been treated for one by one all added up WHEN THE DIAGNOSIS was documented by the pathology in surgery. It all seems like a repeat of Linda's cancer (my sister). Her list of complaints and doctors she had gone to for help were long. She was so discouraged because the good news was that there was nothing wrong with her (according to the many tests that were run on her) and the bad news was she could not get our of bed. When one of her last attempts for help got her a "pych consult for pain management", she called to tell me "they think I'm crazy". Shortly thereafter, bold physical manifestations made the diagnosis of Stage 4 NonHodgkins Lymphoma easier--and she got the doctors ATTENTION then. Suddenly, there was MUCH that could be done. She fought hard and valiantly......but at stage four!
I guess this is my way of saying to all of you that when you don't feel good and you KNOW something is not right, be proactive and assertive and keep trying to find the answer. Sometimes the problem does not clearly proclaim itself. Some cancers and other problems are hard to diagnose at their onset.
I am grateful every day that Marty chose the brave choice to have the surgeries and radiation, but it has taken a great toll on him. He is trying now to regain his strength, but it is slow and unpredictable. In my last post, I said that he was trying to wean off some of the many meds because each med may come with its own set of side effects. Now, he is on 3 more. One is for the neurological pain he is having on his face, neck, chest, back, arms and hands that was so alarming to him and it really is seeming to help. Two are for the fungal infection in his throat that has returned-- probably, in part, from the antibiotics he continues to be on.
Although we keep having unscheduled things happen, our next scheduled appointment is to see Dr. Sharma,Oncologist Surgeon, on January 23rd in Salt Lake.
I am grateful to be back to work and am so grateful for my job and the Blue Cross I have for him through my job. It has been overwhelming enough with insurance and the generous benefit Simplot held for him. I have seen many patients who have NO insurance!
Marty is experimenting with more and more foods and drinks, but trouble swallowing and tolerating the painful throat is an ongoing problem. The list of foods that work is getting longer, though it always depends on the day if something works or not.
He has tried to "putter" around the house and garage--there is so much that needs to be done. But, he does not have much stamina and the thermostat of his body is very fragile. He is usually too cold or too hot. And, he is shaky so much of the time. Simple things like writing a check or managing a spoon are difficult with the shakes. I see improvement in many areas and when he is not trying to do something, I see that he is thinking about and hatching a plan for how he could get something done. That usually involves asking for help--which we all know is difficult for him to do.
Last week was Fast and Testimony meeting. Marty got up and was only able to speak for a few minutes, but said so much in those few words and minutes. He almost blacked out as he turned from the pulpit. Don Crane grabbed him and assisted him back to his seat. He only stayed for that one meeting, but I was so proud of him.
We continue to feel blessed by the love and caring of so many. We are also aware that there are so many others around us with huge problems. I constantly hear courages stories and know so many people are enduring their own trials.
Thank to all,
Love, Marty and LaRee