January 28.2008 Monday

Dear Family & Friends,
Wow, it is so hard to describe how things are going here at home. Marty is still on quite the roller coaster ride with how he feels. He can feel pretty good and actually enjoy a movie or venture out into the cold to deal with snow.....and then not be able to relax, get warm enough, then cool off enough. We do believe his internal thermastat has been fried in all this--and he is very fragile that way.
It seems hard to realize how long he has been sick now and how long ago he was working and maintaining his life as it was. So many changes impact his today and all his tomorrows. Thank you one and all who are continuing to remember in your thoughts and prayers. He really still needs them.
I am very proud of the persistance with which he is trying to keep up on all the meds and cares and nutrition---even when it seems too hard.
Except for a few hours of education hours, I hope to be home most of tomorrow to catch up on the nightmare paperwork that is taking over our home. So much of it just needs tending to and some just needs to be filed in file 13, if you know what I mean. We are very aware of so many around us having great struggles of their own at this time and keep each in our prayers.
We had such severe weather in Bear Lake today, that school was called off and we were holding our breath until all our patients arrived safely. Then there was the issue of them getting home safely. Some stayed in Montpelier at a motel and some braved it home. It was a windy, snowy dozie of a storm. But, we got a lot of inches out of it. Marty, left to himself all day, went out to push snow with his Bronco and blade. That involved him getting stuck and requesting Brandon to be his recue ranger. I could not believe the snow atop my Durango when I went to come home from work tonight. Fun.....mostly once I'm home and can just look out at it.
Please know we aprecaite each kind and thoughtful act of service on Marty's behalf. It means so much to him. Love, LaRee and , of course, Marty

January 23rd Dr. Appointment

Today dad went to see Dr. Sharma and had an exam done on his throat and the Dr. said that everything is looking good. Since some things have changed with dad's anatomy the doctor wanted to get a MRI done so that he will have a base line for what is normal on dad. So it is just about 7 pm and they just got on the road to come home. They actually decided to stay at Angie's tonight. I think that is a great idea because it is so so so so cold here. Right now it is -12. CRAZY! So they will come home in the morning. We have all learned that no news is good news, so it looks like dad is still cancer free and trying to heal each and every day. Don't forget about him in your prayers. I think that all of us including him thought that his healing process would go faster then it is going. Thanks to Angie and her family for putting that slide show on. It is awsome. Love to all. Deidra

Grandma Ree, Grandpa Marty and Fam Slideshow

January Update

Dear Family & Friends,
Wow, this month is going fast(for me) and slow (for Marty). The pace will pick up a bit now as we have his appointment with Dr. Promad Sharma in Salt Lake City on the 23rd. So don't be worried if you try to reach us and neither of us is home.
We are hoping for good roads and a good report. Two events Marty was able to do this week were going with me to the Bear Lake Memorial Hospital after Christmas party and going to Sacrament Meeting. He has cooked a few meals---which makes him feel more back to normal. He continues to try to do the best he can each day and get the nutrition in that he so desperately needs. I am proud of him.
Thanks for checking on us,
Love, LaRee and of course, Marty

January 13, 2008

Dear Family and Friends,
It seems unreal that it was five months ago today (Aug 13,2007) that Marty had his first surgery in Logan and his cancer was finally diagnosed. Time has gone so fast in many ways, yet stood still in others. When I think of all the choices he has had to make and all that he has endured, it seems unbelievable. It is heartbreaking to look back in time when we both KNEW something was seriously wrong and told doctors we suspected cancer long before the diagnosis was officially made that day. It is impossible to fight cancer until an official diagnosis is made and then you know which beast you are fighting. Stage 4 is a bad time to start the fight!!
We continue to be grateful for the innovative and aggressive treatments now available for this type of cancer and will never forget Dr. Sharma's comment that THIS is the type of cancer people die from----not knowing what they had. It is usually diagnosed on autopsy. WOW ! The many symptoms that he had endured and been treated for one by one all added up WHEN THE DIAGNOSIS was documented by the pathology in surgery. It all seems like a repeat of Linda's cancer (my sister). Her list of complaints and doctors she had gone to for help were long. She was so discouraged because the good news was that there was nothing wrong with her (according to the many tests that were run on her) and the bad news was she could not get our of bed. When one of her last attempts for help got her a "pych consult for pain management", she called to tell me "they think I'm crazy". Shortly thereafter, bold physical manifestations made the diagnosis of Stage 4 NonHodgkins Lymphoma easier--and she got the doctors ATTENTION then. Suddenly, there was MUCH that could be done. She fought hard and valiantly......but at stage four!
I guess this is my way of saying to all of you that when you don't feel good and you KNOW something is not right, be proactive and assertive and keep trying to find the answer. Sometimes the problem does not clearly proclaim itself. Some cancers and other problems are hard to diagnose at their onset.
I am grateful every day that Marty chose the brave choice to have the surgeries and radiation, but it has taken a great toll on him. He is trying now to regain his strength, but it is slow and unpredictable. In my last post, I said that he was trying to wean off some of the many meds because each med may come with its own set of side effects. Now, he is on 3 more. One is for the neurological pain he is having on his face, neck, chest, back, arms and hands that was so alarming to him and it really is seeming to help. Two are for the fungal infection in his throat that has returned-- probably, in part, from the antibiotics he continues to be on.
Although we keep having unscheduled things happen, our next scheduled appointment is to see Dr. Sharma,Oncologist Surgeon, on January 23rd in Salt Lake.
I am grateful to be back to work and am so grateful for my job and the Blue Cross I have for him through my job. It has been overwhelming enough with insurance and the generous benefit Simplot held for him. I have seen many patients who have NO insurance!
Marty is experimenting with more and more foods and drinks, but trouble swallowing and tolerating the painful throat is an ongoing problem. The list of foods that work is getting longer, though it always depends on the day if something works or not.
He has tried to "putter" around the house and garage--there is so much that needs to be done. But, he does not have much stamina and the thermostat of his body is very fragile. He is usually too cold or too hot. And, he is shaky so much of the time. Simple things like writing a check or managing a spoon are difficult with the shakes. I see improvement in many areas and when he is not trying to do something, I see that he is thinking about and hatching a plan for how he could get something done. That usually involves asking for help--which we all know is difficult for him to do.
Last week was Fast and Testimony meeting. Marty got up and was only able to speak for a few minutes, but said so much in those few words and minutes. He almost blacked out as he turned from the pulpit. Don Crane grabbed him and assisted him back to his seat. He only stayed for that one meeting, but I was so proud of him.
We continue to feel blessed by the love and caring of so many. We are also aware that there are so many others around us with huge problems. I constantly hear courages stories and know so many people are enduring their own trials.
Thank to all,
Love, Marty and LaRee

Happy New Year 2008

Dear Ones,
Hello, we are still here and the battle continues. I am so proud of Marty for he continues to be a valiant and courageous patient. I have told several people that though I have never seen him in a weaker state of being than he is now,in my mind he has never been tougher ---- in all the ways that count.
Yesterday, he was seen in Dr. Clark's office and more antibiotics have been called in today. He is also going to try to wean himself of some of the many medications he has been on. He was already wondering how much of the way he feels is related to the MEDS. So, he is going to try to take less, but was cautioned not to just go cold turkey and stop everything. We got very little sleep last night and yet today is going a little better. Brandon, Curtis and Josh have all offered to help with anything Marty needs help with today and Steve is out there now plowing our driveway with his truck and blade. Deidra has sped to town to get Marty's perscription before the drug store closes. Angie continues to call and check on us as have Chris and Misti.
We appreciate the concern and love and physical help that all the kids, so many family members, so many friends and community members have been to us. I would say that we are starting out the year with grateful hearts. We are also discouraged that Marty, now past the surgeries and radiation is NOT feeling better than he is. Each day presents new and challenging problems and he struggles in new and different ways. I have never seen him be more tough.
We had a wonderful Christmas and continue to be touched by the generousity and kindness of others. I could write a book with each chapter being a touching, unbelievable story.
We did not make New Year's Resolutions this year, We hope to just make daily resolutions and try to do what's most important each day. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Love,
LaRee, and of course, Marty.